We hear stories about disrespect and defiance from teenagers most of the time. But often, these stories about teenagers who disrespect and defy their parents are exaggerated. Yes, teenagers are most likely to unsettle their parents and be a wrecker in the family, but that is not always the case.
Truth be told, many parents were able to surpass their children’s teenage years without any significant problems that may destroy their families. All you need is to learn how to build a good relationship with your teenager, so they’ll feel more comfortable with you.
That said, this article will help you build a stronger and healthier relationship with your teen son or daughter.
Give them freedom
Giving freedom applies to all stages, but it is more critical during the teenage years. Do not be too hard on them just because of their temporary interests that you find quite odd. These interests may include bright color and unique hairstyles, the outlandish things they say, and even their out-of-this-world fashion sense.
If you constantly dictate to them what they can’t and can do in every aspect, you will weaken their respect for you and your overall authority. It will be more likely that your child will be afraid to tell you things and open up to you. They will start defying you and lying to you.
The best strategy here is to give them freedom from things that are not very important. So that when they ask you for something vital, and you know that it’s not good and will affect them in the long run, you can firmly say, “No.” Through this, they will understand that what they are asking for is a big deal.
Let them interact with other adults
Most of the time, teens will hesitate to open up to their parents because they are shy or afraid. A good thing to do is let other adults you trust get close to them and talk with them. So when problems arise for your teen child, they will have a reliable adult to talk to apart from you.
The people you trust may include other family members, parents of other teens, and coaches. Sometimes, talking to someone other than their parents allows them to be calm and remove the sense of overreaction from parents they experience most of the time.
You can let your child know that they have an aunt or uncle to talk to if they don’t feel like talking to their parents about their problem or are not yet comfortable.
Show interest in their interests
If you currently have a young kid, then this one is pretty obvious. Many kids are showing their love to their parents by sharing their interests with them. But as they grow up, they begin to learn their passion and start pursuing them even more. However, some parents find it difficult to understand these passions.
Perhaps your child has been attending ballroom dancing classes for quite some time now. Whenever you drive them to the studio, ask about how much they enjoy dancing or what made them decide to enroll in the class. If possible, candidly ask your child to teach you about the basics of ballroom dancing at home.
Teach them the importance of small things
Teach your children how to observe the behavior of other people. Emphasize that if a boy is not respectful to his mom, he will also not respect other women. Or, if a girl is mean to her dad, she will do the same to other men.
Let your teenagers know that you are watching their behavior and the behavior of their peers whenever they are around. That way, you will also determine if you can trust them without your supervision.
If you can trust a teen with small things such as doing schoolwork and household chores, you can also trust them with more important things such as setting a curfew or borrowing the car. It is hard to build trust, but it is easy to destroy. That is one thing that you should teach them first.
Do not belittle your teens
Belittling or talking down is not good behavior to anyone. Humiliating your teen in private or public, overusing sarcasm, and lording authority can harm the psyche of your teen and will destroy their trust and respect for you.
Telling them that they are miserable and a failure will not motivate them to change their behavior- this will only give them a sense of rebellion.
Most importantly, be there for them, especially when the defining moments in their lives come. You can support them simply by attending their games, award ceremonies, and performances. Your presence is something that they always look for.